Dear [new] Heart Mom,

Hello 🙂

I greet you with a mixture of loving kinship and quiet sorrow. Thinking back to when I first became a heart mom, I should have so many things to say. But the words refuse to flow. They are tangled up with so many emotions.

I suppose I am a veteran heart mom now. My heart baby is seven years old.  I have cried the tears, and choked on the fears. I have pulled strength from empty wells and found unexpected joy so pure and strong that it stunned me. I’ve learned more about love than I’d ever thought there was to know.

The worst of it is the ever looming unknown. What will happen next? How long will this part last? What is coming next? When will what happen? These are the questions that drown me each time I feel overwhelmed.

If you feel overwhelmed, the first step to kick off that burden is to notice your feelings and name the need behind the feelings.

I’ll go first.

When I found out my baby had a congenital heart defect (CHD)…

I felt:

  • shocked
  • sad, hurt
  • scared

Because I need:

  • safety (for my child)
  • fairness

It’s funny–I never named my feelings/needs from that day until now. There was so much I didn’t know. So much I’ve learned.

This is my heart baby (left) with her identical twin (right):

IMG_1878.2015-07-28_011309

She is just starting first grade. You can read more of her story HERE and HERE and expect an update on her soon. She lives her life so fiercly. She is “all in” and doesn’t hold back. When dad playfully growls like a bear to chase the kids, all the other kids scream and run away.  Not Seraph. She squeals and runs straight into his arms.

Her joy is so unfettered. Her personality was there from the start. I can see it in the way she looked at me and even the way she cried or the way she bonded with her nurses. She is amazing.

I have drawn hundreds of hearts and known hundreds of heart kids. Your heart baby will be amazing, too. You will love him/her fiercely.

Now it’s your turn:

When I found out my baby had a congenital heart defect (CHD)…

I felt:

  • ______________________
  • ______________________
  • ______________________
  • ______________________

Because I need:

  • _______________________
  • _______________________
  • _______________________
  • _______________________

Good job! You got this, Girl ❤!!

===================================================

Now that we’re heart sisters, I may have advice for you from time to time. I’ve noticed there are four types of people:

💛 [y] – Big Picture People

💙 [b] – Details People

💚 [g] – Processes People

❤ [r] – Connections People

I am one type when I’m happy; another type when I’m stressed; and, a third type when I have PMS!

So, some of my sisterly advice will ring true for you, and some will seem utterly stupid.  Feel free to totally ignore anything that’s just not for you. Take what you need.

💛 [y] – It’s gonna be OK. Look for silver linings and you will find joy. Please leave us some hope in the comments section or just say hello 🙂

💙 [b] – Trust your mamma bear instincts. You are right! I need things to be right, so please leave me comments anytime you find something that needs to be clarified or fixed.  That way we can help each other in the most accurate way possible. Thanks!

💚 [g] – Oh, Sweetie! This heart defect news really turned your world upside down! There is safety in organization. Your talents for planning and structure will prepare you to deal with everything that comes next.

❤ [r] – Connections People – You are not alone. I am on your side.  I get it. I’ve lived it. Heart moms rally and stand together. Our connection runs deep and makes us stronger. Join with us – leave a comment below to connect with other heart moms who totally get how you are feeling right now. (Feel free to share your blog’s link/caring page/facebook/twitter)

ever your heart sister,

-Nanette of HeartBabyHome

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